Hardware

New Age of Empires merch celebrates the series’ true heroes: sheep

New Age of Empires merch celebrates the series' true heroes: sheep

If an Age of Empires fan is ever pissing you off, just look them straight in the eye, put your left hand in the air, and start saying “Wololo” over and over. Your insane meme knowledge will stop all that talk about what a real strategy game is, and half-smilingly they will convert to your cause and begin stabbing their former best friend. Effect not guaranteed.

Age of Empires is on my mind not because of the upcoming Age of Empires 4 (here’s everything we know about it), but because Microsoft has for some reason decided to release a bunch of new merch, some of which… is actually decent? I mean, most of it’s junk with the logo on (the elephant rider tote bag was this close to being classy until they slapped the AoE2 logo on the reverse). But it looks like the people who designed a few of these items have actually played and like the games.

(Image credit: Microsoft)

There’s a classier Wololo t-shirt with just the word, a Wololo mug, a “laser engraved tumbler with straw” which sounds cooler than it is and, for the refined gentleperson among us, a wine glass. If you dream of sending armies forth to battle and, as the lamentations rise from your foe’s ranks, cracking open a nice Chianti to celebrate, I guess this is the vessel to choose.

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